All across America, unused nuclear armaments are falling into disrepair. I’m not telling you this to worry you that there will be an accidental explosion, irradiating an entire state that nobody cares about. Knowing the American cars I’ve owned, chances are good that these things were not built well enough to blow up in the first place.
The most important thing to remember about nuclear apocalypse is that pretty much nobody wanted it, except for folks who wanted to make a ton of money off of it. If the government asks you to build thousands of nukes, that’s much more profit than if they asked you to build one nuke. And you can wring out even more dinero from that contract by hiring low-paid workers.
Now, you might ask yourself: weren’t they tested? Sure, they were, until they made it illegal to test the suckers. After the test ban treaty you could slap any garbage you wanted into a missile-shaped tube. In the event of a nuclear war, you only needed one of those suckers to go off, and even if they didn’t, it wasn’t like they were going to be able to come after you for a warranty repair.
All this adds up to a bonanza for the local entrepreneur. Statistically, the average American is less than fifteen feet away from a fully-equipped nuclear missile silo, and chances are your local one is full-ass abandoned. Moving in is just a bolt-cutter away. Not only does this provide affordable housing as well as voluminous parking, but you can sell off the nuclear missiles inside for some spending cash. Hell, I’ve seen James Bond movies - people would pay a lot of money for those, at least one thousand dollars. That’ll get you into a good, reliable used car, maybe even one made by the Japanese.
